You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
