i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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