currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
