I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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