She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
