he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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