the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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