Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
