how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
