i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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