Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
love makes seman taste better
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
