My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
