My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
