Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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