Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I wear drunk well.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
