We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
