So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I am midnight drunk by noon
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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