Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
