I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize