why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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