dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
