we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
