I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
