Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
