you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
