by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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