So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
