I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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