Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
