hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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