Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
