I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
