do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
