Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
