If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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