That's intense
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
