tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
