babies were throwing up all over the place
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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