I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
