Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
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