I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize