Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
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Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
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I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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