We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
