Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
