I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
