the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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