she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
