The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
