Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
