Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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