If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I currently don't understand fingers.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
