You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
