there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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