Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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