Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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