Please, let me fuck your mom
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
