her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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