doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Randomize
