sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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