She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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