At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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