Can Purell be used as lube?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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