I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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