His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
