I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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