Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
