we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
as a side note pls kill me
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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